如何避免和孩子的家庭作业较劲
1. Establish routines and discourage bad habits
Set the tone with an uncluttered, well-equipped study space, and create a consistent schedule that includes breaks.
Prevent bad habits by intervening when kids toggle between texting and studying, sacrifice sleep for gaming or start work at midnight.
2. Name and tame negative voices
Train kids to notice defeatist thoughts. When a voice whispers, "You're not good at math," they can give it a name, such as Mike. Ask them to choose a different name for a voice that affirms they are good at something. Then say: "It's not you. Mike is causing you problems."
3. Dress for success
Have your kids choose special learning attire, such as a thinking hat or a pair of glasses, that they wear only while studying. Researchers at Northwestern University found that even adults are influenced by their clothing. In a study published in the journal Child Development, researchers found that young children persevered longer when they pretended to be a superhero.
4. Let school be the bad guy
If negotiating homework becomes toxic, it is time to contact the child's teacher or school counselor. Jennifer Goodstein, a sixth-grade teacher in Bethesda, Md. , says she tells parents to stop and write her an email when their child melts down. "We can be the bad guys and say, ‘Okay, Brendan, you were fighting with your mother, so you're going to do the work here,' " she says.
5. Give kids options, but inspect what you expect
Allow kids to choose when they work or how they would like to approach a teacher, but follow up, says Kim Campbell, a consultant for the Association for Middle Level Educators in Minnetonka, Minn. If kids promise to connect with a teacher on their own, they need to know what will happen if they do not follow through.
6. Introduce physical breaks
"When I see that kids are falling asleep, we'll do 20 jumping jacks, or play rock-paper-scissors, or pretend we're in the ocean and there are sharks and we need to swim really fast," Campbell says. To enhance concentration, she recommends that kids take a walk, play sports or go on a bike ride before they start homework.
7. Establish reward systems
Rewards work best when they are immediate. "You earn them when you do your homework for a week, not a quarter," Campbell says. "Some parents will say you have to get all A's for the semester, but long-term goals don't work." The payoff can be something small, such as stickers to decorate their notebook.
8. Make modifications and connections
Enhance the homework experience by taking field trips or making connections to sports, popular media or current events. Parents also can make the most of technology. Kids can study with friends online or use apps to make flashcards, break units into smaller exercises or brainstorm ideas for essays.
But don't do the work for them. As Wormeli says, "What's the greater gift we can give our kids, that they learn it and it goes into long-term memory, or that they get a false sense of competency?"
9. Identify role models to build grit
Parents can ask kids to name people they admire, whether they are professional athletes or favorite writers. When the child wants to give up, ask what that role model would do.
10. Go easy on the pressure
Too much pressure causes kids to push back. "At an age when you're just starting to discover who you are, you're already being told who you need to be," Jovanovic says. "When the gap between who you want to be and who your parents need you to be is big, you start rebelling."