English Reader

Valentines day cards

A guy walks into a post office one day to see a middle-aged , balding man...

An ounce of brains

A lawyer finds out he has an inoperable brain tumor . It's so large, they...

Surgery

As the lawyer woke up after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn...

Guilty?

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense :...

Lawyers on a light bulb

Q: How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?   A: How many can...

A doctor and a lawyer

A doctor and a lawyer were talking at a party. Their conversation was...

The lost ball

Two lawyers, Jon and Bill, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon...

Evidence

After a trial had been going on for three days, the man accused of...

Jury candidate

A prospective juror in a Dallas District Court was surprised by the...

Consultation fees

A lawyer's dog, running around town unleashed , heads for a butcher shop and...

Speed limit

The British RAF base where I was stationed(驻扎,配置) as part of a contingent...

The devil's offer

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange...

Still a virgin

"Father, how am I going to tell my husband that I am still a virgin ?" "My...

Bastard in family

For 3 years, the young attorney had been taking his brief vacations at this...

What's the catch

The devil visited a lawyer's office and made him an offer. "I can arrange...

Lawyers in heaven

An engineer dies and reports to the pearly gates. St. Peter checks his...

To profit from a misfortune 因祸得福

A man was a butterfingers(手脚笨拙的人) . He had been suffering from unemployment...

How did i do? 我干得怎么样?

A rookie police officer was out for his first ride in a cruiser with an...

A chimpanzee and a norwegian

In 1990 the Swedes sent their first rocket up into outer space with a crew...

Never mind 坐到了后坐上

A drunk phoned police to report that thieves had been in his car. "They've...

The same action yields the same result

A couple of hunters chartered a small plane to fly them to a forest, and...

Where am i 我在哪儿

An Englishman lost his way while he was driving in the countryside . He saw...

Why do you never phone me?

Mrs Harris lives in a small village. Her husband is dead , but she has one...

Joke: constipated kitty

Mrs. Jones' kitty isn't feeling well- a bad case of constipation. She takes...

The same duties 相同的职责

The Same Duties A retired four-star general ran into his former orderly,...

Pimp

Q: What do you call an Alabama farmer with a sheep under each arm ? A: A pimp.

From alabama

It was the first day of Third Grade in a new town for Little Johnny. As a...

A drunk decides to go ice fishing 酒鬼钓鱼

A drunk decides to go ice fishing, so he gathers his gear and goes walking...

Make love to a ghost

A visiting professor at the University of Alabama is giving a seminar on the...

I want those two back

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch...

Trained parrot

There was a little old lady who was nearly blind, and she had three sons who...

Salts

Bloke is drinking at a pub and after a few rounds goes to leave, explaining...

Excuse 借口

A New Zealand man caught driving at more than twice the legal speed limit...

Try the hat 试帽子

A woman was busy making an Irish stew (炖肉) when her husband came in from...

The bathtub test

During a visit to the mental asylum , a visitor asked the Director what the...

Fantasy island

A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.   One day a beautiful...

A vacation cruise 假日巡航游

One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100....

Three men in a boat 三人同舟

Three Men in a Boat Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the...

Joke: set it free

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was, and always...

Only cash and credit cards

When a man called a motel and asked how much they charged for a room, the...

The revenge 欺骗的代价

Old Farmer Johnson was dying. The family was standing around his bed. With a...

Five months older 大五个月

Five Months Older The Second World War had begun, and John wanted to join...

A piece of yellow paper

I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for...

Watermelons with cyanide

There was a farmer who grew watermelons. He was doing pretty well, but he...

令人喷饭的雅思作文经典笑话

“笑果”指数 ★   I don't have time to read, because I must study.   Studying...

Tips for red necks

IN GENERAL 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify...

Frog 青蛙

The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, Now I'll show you...

Redneck letter

Dear son, Im writing this slow cause i know you cant read fast. Your pop...

Support a family

The prospective father-in-law asked, "Young man, can you support a family?"...

What's your business?

A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture...