约会时如何巧妙地上厕所
Ever wondered how to navigate the etiquette of going to the loo on a date or, even worse, in bed? This new book tackles the last taboo in dating.
想知道如何在约会时，或者更糟的是，在床上时，去上厕所却不失形象的妙诀吗？这本新书教你突破约会中的最后一道禁忌。
When navigating the dating terrain, the potential minefields are endless. When do you make the first move? Is it too early to meet the parents?
But judging by the popularity of a new book, we're often preoccupied with（沉浸在） explosive issues of a different kind. 'How to Poo on a First Date', has become an Amazon sensation, and is dedicated solely to issues of the heart and bowels.
The £5 dating bible, published by Prion, promises to solve all your toilet conundrums（难题）, from what to do if the urge arises at an awkward moment to how best to cover up any unromantic odours.
The authors, credited only as Mats and Enzo, spent five years researching this work of lavatory-related genius.
'One of the secrets of seduction (and this goes as much for a first date as for the rest of the relationship) is to stay faultless at all times,' the relationship scholars write in the book's intro.
'However, you are made of flesh and bone and this means that yes, sometimes you have to go to the loo.
'This vital human requirement remains strangely taboo（禁忌） in modern society, and it can ruin a blooming or well-established relationship in an instant.'
To illustrate the point the book kicks off with a cautionary tale. So confident in his relationship was Tom, a friend of the authors, that he started talking to his girlfriend with the toilet door open.
Needless to say, Tom's 'monumental error of judgement' means he's now single.
'We could no longer allow something as banal as going to the toilet to continue to destroy millions of perfectly good relationships,' the authors explain, thus 'How to Poo...' was squeezed out between them.
The authors acknowledge that women are much more advanced in their toilet behaviour than men and have successfully perpetuated the myth that they never do number twos or let off wind.
With that in mind Mats and Enzo have been chivalrous enough to write the part of the toilet perpetrator as a male throughout the 144-page guide. But they do point out that the gender is interchangeable in all examples.
The book, which is the third in the 'How to Poo...' trilogy, (hot on the heels of 'How to Poo at Work' and 'How to Poo on Holiday',) covers what to do if you need the loo in scenarios including a cocktail party, in a Gondola or on an aeroplane.
But if you're hoping their five years of research has unearthed some game-changing advice, don't cross your, erm, legs.
The book's advice on how to nip to the loo without alerting your date that you have any unsavoury biological requirements, is convoluted to say the least.