The mirror

  A SILKEN-EARED Spaniel, who traced his descent from King Charles
the Second of England, chanced to look into a mirror which was
leaning against the wainscoting of a room on the ground floor of
his mistress's house.  Seeing his reflection, he supposed it to be
another dog, outside, and said:

  "I can chew up any such milksoppy pup as that, and I will."

  So he ran out-of-doors and around to the side of the house where he
fancied the enemy was.  It so happened that at that moment a
Bulldog sat there sunning his teeth.  The Spaniel stopped short in
dire consternation, and, after regarding the Bulldog a moment from
a safe distance, said:

  "I don't know whether you cultivate the arts of peace or your flag
is flung to the battle and the breeze and your voice is for war. 
If you are a civilian, the windows of this house flatter you worse
than a newspaper, but if you're a soldier, they do you a grave
injustice."

  This speech being unintelligible to the Bulldog he only civilly
smiled, which so terrified the Spaniel that he dropped dead in his
tracks.