Life as a female bear

f you're a bear, you get to hibernate. You do nothing but sleep for six months. I could deal with that.
      
      Before you hibernate, you're supposed to eat yourself stupid. I could deal with that, too.
      
       If you're a mama bear, everyone knows you mean business. You swat anyone who bothers your cubs. If your cubs get out of line, you swat them too. I could deal with that.
      
       If you're a female bear, your mate EXPECTS you to wake up growling. He EXPECTS that you will have hairy legs and excess body fat.
      
       I wanna be a bear.