Sitting swimmingly
Three guys enter a special swimming contest whereby each contestant is born disabled. The first has no arms. The second has no legs and the third has no body, just a head.
The prospect of the race was a bit ridiculous, but the three had all trained and such a contest was historic, so many people gathered to watch.
They all line up, the whistle blows and "splash" they're all in the pool.
The guy with no arms takes the lead instantly, but the guy with no legs is closing fast. The head of course sank straight to the bottom.
Ten lengths later and the guy with no legs finishes first. Everybody applauds, (except the guy with no arms, of course).
The guy with no legs can still see bubbles coming from the bottom of the pool, so he decides, with all good sportsmanship, to dive down to the bottom of the pool to rescue his fellow competitor. He picks up the head, swims back up to the surface and places the head at the side of the pool, where upon the head starts coughing and sputtering.
Eventually the head catches his breath. He takes a moment and then begins to fume. His face red and steaming, he turns to the crowd and shouts:
"Three years I've spent learning to swim with my ears, then two minutes before the whistle, some jerk puts a swimming cap on me!"