Traditional christmas

We have a traditional family,
so Christmas is always the same;
we hang up spaghetti and doughnuts
and break out the Slip-N-Slide game.
We stand in the tub in our costumes
of pickles and papier-mache.
We sing "Old MacDonald" til noontime
then practice our indoor croquet.
We gather in front of the toaster
to bask in its radiant glow
while dining on frozen carnations
and filling our pockets with snow.
The highlight is juggling toothpicks
till Grandma gets poked in the eye.
While waiting to hear from the doctor,
we bake a banana cream pie.
Then lastly we put on our helmets
and posture in silly positions.
It's fun to be part of a family
with so many Christmas traditions.