English Story



Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country.
-- Marion Barry, Mayor, Washington, D.C.


We have only one person to blame, and that's each other.
-- Barry Beck, New York Ranger, on who started a fight furing a hockey game


I've never had major knee surgery on any other part of my body.
-- Winston Bennett, University of Kentucky basketball forward


I believe that mink are raised for being turned into fur coats and if we didn't wear fur coats those little animals would never have been born. So is it better not to have been born or to have lived for a year or two to have been turned into a fur coat? I don't know.
-- Barbi Benton, former Playboy bunny


Ninety percent of the game is half mental.
-- Yogi Berra


No wonder nobody comes here--it's too crowded.
-- Yogi Berra


You can observe a lot by watching.
-- Yogi Berra


You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there.
-- Yogi Berra


Sure, it's going to kill a lot of people, but they may be dying of something else anyway.
-- Othal Brand, member of a Texas pesticide review board


In the early sixties, we were strong, we were virulent...
-- John Connally, Secretary of Treasury under Richard Nixon, in an early 70s speech, as reported in a contemporary "American Scholar"


They were doing a full back shot of me in a swimsuit and I thought, Oh my God, I have to be so brave. See, every woman hates herself from behind.
-- Cindy Crawford, supermodel


There are not enough Indians in the world to defeat the Seventh Cavalry.
-- George Armstrong Custer


He didn't say that. He was reading what was given to him in a speech.
-- Richard Darman, director of OMB, explaining why President Bush wasn't following up on his campaign pledge that there would be no loss of wetlands


I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law.
-- David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.


Tear open packet, unfold and use.
-- Directions on moist towelette package


They gave me a book of checks. They didn't ask for any deposits.
-- Joe Early, Congressman (D-Mass), at a press conference to answer questions about the House Bank scandal


Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
-- Dwight D. Eisenhower, U.S. President


If I tell a lie it's only because I think I'm telling the truth.
-- Phil Gaglardi, Minister of Highways, British Columbia, Canada


I'll moider da bum.
-- Tony Galento, heavyweight boxer, when asked what he thought of William Shakespeare


Gentlemen, it is better to have died a small boy than to fumble this football.
-- John Heisman


It depends on your definition of asleep. They were not stretched out. They had their eyes closed. They were seated at their desks with their heads in a nodding position.
-- John Hogan, Commonwealth Edison Supervisor of News Information, responding to a charge by a Nuclear Regulatory Commission inspector that two Dresden Nuclear Plant operators were sleeping on the job


Because modeling is lucrative, I'm able to save up and be more particular about the acting roles I take.
-- Kathy Ireland, star of 'Alien From L.A.' and 'Danger Island'


Well, I think that it's a- it's had some difficult times but I think we have- we, I think, have been able to make some very good progress and it's- I would say that it's- it's- it's delightful that we're able to- to share the time and the relationship that we- that we do share.
-- Edward Kennedy, U.S. Senator, during a 4 November 1979 interview with Roger Mudd trying to answer the question "What is the present state of your marriage?"


I'm for abolishing and doing away with redundancy.
-- J. Curtis McKay, Wisconsin State Elections Board


Question: If you could live forever, would you and why? Answer: I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever.
-- Miss Alabama, in the 1994 Miss Universe contest


When you don't know that you don't know, it's a lot different than when you do know that you don't know. He knows now that he doesn't know. Last year, he didn't know that.
-- Bill Parcels, New England Patriots head coach, on 2nd year quarter-back Drew Bledsoe


I was a pilot flying an airplane and it just so happened that where I was flying made what I was doing spying.
-- Francis Gary Power, U-2 reconnaissance pilot held by the Soviets for spying, in an interview after he was returned to the U.S.


I support efforts to limit the terms of members of Congress, especially members of the House and members of the Senate.
-- Dan Quayle, Former Vice-President


The Holocaust was an obscene period in our nation's history...this century's history.... We all lived in this century. I didn't live in this century.
-- Dan Quayle, then Indiana senator and Republican vice-presidential candidate during a news conference in which he was asked his opinion of the Holocaust


The streets are safe in Philadelphia. It's only the people who make them unsafe.
-- Frank Rizzo, ex-police chief and mayor of Philadelphia


I'm not indecisive. Am I indecisive?
-- Jim Scheibel, mayor, St. Paul MN


Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life.
-- Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign


I cannot imagine any condition which would cause this ship to founder. Modern shipbuilding has gone beyond that.
-- E. I. Smith, Captain of the Titanic


After finding no qualified candidates for the position of principal, the school board is extremely pleased to announce the appointment of David Steele to the post.
-- Philip Streifer, Superintendent of Schools, Barrington, Rhode Island


I've always thought that underpopulated countries in Africa are vastly underpolluted.
-- Lawrence Summers, chief economist of the World Bank, explaining why we should export toxic wastes to Third World countries


We didn't send you to Washington to make intelligent decisions. We sent you to represent us.
-- Kent York, Baptist minister to US Rep. Bill Sarpalius