Little old lady 小老太太

A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when...

A way to make money

Mother had decided to trim（修剪，整理） her household（家庭的，日常的） budget wherever...

None other than a soldier

As a newly commissinaed infantry （步兵） lieutenant , I was eager to set an...

The grounded conductor

Tom is applying for a job as a signalman for the local railroad , and is...

Buy the ice

Once a simpleton's wife told him to buy some ice.   Two hours later, he...

Redneck's birth control

A redneck took his daughter to the Gynocologist. They waited in the Doctor's...

A windows recall

It has come to our attention that a few copies of the Alabama edition of...

The redneck oil change checklist

1. Go to O'Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50 dollars for oil,...

I drop my weight from skipping

Mr. Smith was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet. "I want...

Mr. ferdinand's lunch 费迪南德先生的午餐

One morning Mrs. Ferdinand said to her husband: "Roger, there's a meeting at...

Airplane

A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the...

How do i get the gum out 怎么把口香糖取出来呢

How do I get the gum out? Distributing chewing gum to the passengers, the...

Did you know him?

At a dinner party in the home of friends, our host mentioned his highschool...

The purpose of the propeller 飞机螺旋桨的用处

A: "What's the purpose of the propeller ?"   B: "To keep the pilot cool. If...

Redneck sex quiz

Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most...

Another engine is down 又一个引擎出了故障

A Boeing 747 was  flying in the night sky of the Pacific Ocean. The captain...

Canine complex

A man walked into the office of the eminent （杰出的，有名的） psychiatrist （精神病学家）...

What's the weather?

It was already late fall and the Indians on a remote reservation In South...

Napoleon was ill 拿破仑病了

Napoleon was ill Jack had gone to the university to study history, but at...

Joke: worst golf foursome

Do you know the toughest golf foursome to play behind? Monica Lewinski...OJ...

Redneck at the beach

A redneck is walking along the beach in France. There are many beautiful...

To borrow an ox 借公牛一用

To Borrow an Ox Once upon a time, there lived a rich man, but he didn't know...

Bear left

Two Polish hunters were driving through the country to go bear hunting.   ...

You will soon get used to it

An old man died and left his son a lot of money. But the son was a foolish...

Joke: the blind man

A nun in the convent walked into the bathroom where mother superior was...

Body builder light bulb

Q: How many body builders does it take to change a light bulb?   A: Nine....

旅行社笑话一则

A woman called to make reservations, "I want to go from Chicago to...

You may put my beard on again

A man who sold brooms went into a barber 's shop to get shaved. The barber...

英语笑话：谁欠谁钱

A lawyer's dog, running about unleashed , beelines for a butcher shop and...

The king and his stories

Once there was a king. He likes to write stories, but his stories were not...

Please call

A Newspaper carried this classified ad, "The man who picked up my wallet on...

Class, lass and ass

Professor Tom was going to meet his students on the next day,so he wrote...

To put in a light bulb

Q: How many men does it take to put in a light bulb?   A: Only one...but it...

Goldfish 金鱼

Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them? Stan: In...

The sick man and the doctor

A sick man received a visit from his doctor, who asked him how he was.  ...

The looney bin 疯人院

The Looney Bin Late one night at the insane asylum (疯人院）one inmate shouted,...

The nitty gritty dictionary

ADULT:  A person who has stopped growing at both ends and is now growing in...

Be careful what you wish for

A couple had been married for 25 years and were celebrating their 60th...

My little dog can't read 我的狗不识字

Mrs. Brown: Oh, my dear, I have lost my precious little dog!   Mrs. Smith:...

It must be crowded 一定很拥挤

A teacher is telling his students, "The moon is very large. Several millions...

Fishing 钓鱼

Larry and Harry drove 500 miles to go fishing. They paid a huge sum to rent...

Absent-minded mark twain 心不在焉的马克・吐温

The famous American writer Mark Twain was well-known for his...

Farmer

What do you call a basement full of farmers? A whine-cellar

I dream of jeannie

Two men were adrift in a life boat following a dramatic escape from a...

三个盗贼 three robber

A brunette（深色的）, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a...

Joke: beer for geeks

DOS Beer: Requires you to use your own can opener, and requires you to read...

Letter home

(Now at Camp Pendleton, San Diego, Marine Corps Recruit Training) Dear Ma...

A smart housewife

A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only...

Stupid question

Dan was the doorman of a club in a big city. Everyday, thousands of people...

Psychiatrist 精神病医生

Jerry went to a psychiatrist . "Doc," he said, "I've got trouble. Every time...